Do Opposites Really Attract?

One day while out for a long walk, I stopped in at a little coffee shop and took a seat at the bar. The barista was steaming a cup of milk, singing and dancing to the background music. For a barista, she had an exceptionally beautiful voice (not that I profess to have any expertise in singing baristas), but experiencing her preparation of a coffee drink was more like attending a stage performance.

“One moment… I’ll be right with you,” she said as she artfully spooned the froth into a large cup of espresso without missing a beat.

After finishing her masterpiece, she glided over and placed it in front of this rigid looking guy sitting across from me. He studied the cup closely, then bent down and took in the aroma. When he came up for air his fogged glasses slid partway down his nose. He looked to be in his early 50s, but after removing his glasses to wipe off the condensation, I wasn’t sure. Add to this his froth mustache, and he could have been a kid again.

“Well, what do you think?” she asked him.

“Excellent… another ‘10’ Larissa,” he answered, looking pleased with her work.

Larissa turned to me. “Okay, then… what can I make for you?” Larissa’s smile matched her voice.

“I guess I’ll have what he’s having,” I responded.

“Great choice, you won’t regret it,” the guy said wiping off his mustache. I smiled and nodded.

“Okay, Larissa, now will you please change it?” Before she could respond, he added, “I bet this gentleman would like it changed, too.” I hadn’t a clue of what “it” was, but considering I was the only other patron, I assumed the gentleman he was referring to was me.

“Wouldn’t you rather listen to Mozart?” he asked me pointing up to a speaker, shaking his head and rolling his eyes disapprovingly.

“Oh, Robert… you and Wolfgang,” Larissa said in a kidding voice, then added, “Robert is a music expert… he knows everything and has a doctorate degree in music.”

“Whatever you two decide to listen to is fine by me… I plan to shove off in a few minutes,” I answered.

Even so, it seemed a shame to change the music. Larissa was really enjoying it… and so was I. The music was Brazilian and judging by her appearance, accent and the fact she was singing along in Portuguese, I assumed Larissa might be, too.

“Is this Bebel Gilberto?” I asked.

She glanced up and smiled, “Yes, do you like it?”

I nodded and smiled back as she rhythmically created my drink to the beat.

“Of course you do,” Larissa said, “Brazilian music is the best.”

“I can’t believe it!” Robert said semi-jokingly. “Another person claiming to like this noise… what are the odds of that?” Larissa and I both smiled and played along but it was obvious to me that Robert liked more than just Mozart and coffee… and I think Larissa felt the same toward him.

“Why don’t you put on that piano concerto you played yesterday, Larissa? Wasn’t it um… No 21 in C… Andante… 2nd movement… I believe it was K467?”

Larissa looked through rows of CDs before picking up a Mozart sleeve and studied it for a moment, “Right again, Robert, it was K467… I told you he knows everything about music… and he’s teaching me too.”

“I assume you like Mozart?” Robert asked me.

“I’m not sure… I’ve never listened to him.”

“Seriously? Well either you’re pulling my chain, or you’ve been living under a rock.”

“Honestly, I’m not pulling your chain,” I responded.

While Robert wasn’t certain what to make of my answer, it didn’t stop him from pontificating: “I prefer to reference Mozart’s work by its K or KV numbers… I believe most knowledgeable people do.” He went on to discuss Ludwig von Köchel, the Viennese botanist who first inventoried Mozart’s work, and Alfred Einstein’s subsequent correction and expansion of Kochel’s work. Then as K467 played in the background, Robert explained how Mozart composed it, what his motivations were, how it was intended to be performed and so on. Larissa was glued to his every word. By the time he finished, K467 had ended and another Mozart piece was playing. I was beginning to think if Mozart himself were to have somehow joined us, he would be utterly amazed at all the things Richard could have taught him about his life and music.

I got up to leave, and as I reached the door, Richard said, “You can no longer claim you haven’t listened to Mozart.”

I smiled, but didn’t bother to correct him… I still hadn’t heard Mozart. Neither had Richard, Larissa, Köchel, or anyone born after 1791 for that matter. We’ve only heard musicians playing from copied sheets of music that he allegedly wrote. Imagine having never heard the Beatles perform. Then one day, random handwritten music scores are found along with some scribbled notes and lyrics allegedly authored by these guys named Lennon and McCartney. Music experts organize the work and then ask musicians (who also have never heard the Beatles perform) to play the songs. Do you really think it would sound like the Beatles recordings we grew up listening to? Would it even sound close?

As I continued my walk I began to wonder, who really knew more about music: Larissa the Brazilian barista who dances and sings to her native music while serving coffee, or Richard the academic who knew every detail about Mozart’s work… but admitted to not “being” very musical himself.

In my younger days, I would have said that Larissa had forgotten more about music than Richard will ever understand… but now I’m older and hopefully a little wiser. I realize today that intelligence exists in countless forms. There is no right or superior kind of intelligence… it all has its unique place and time.

In a way Richard and Larissa’s budding relationship serves as an excellent metaphor. Richard was driven by content and structure. Larissa followed her spirit. Richard’s world was objective and Larissa’s—subjective. With the right structure in her life a person like Larissa can thrive. And without spirit—a magical spark—a person like Richard will remain stagnant. The old saying, “opposites attract” is true for good reason. Smart people understand that we each have strengths and weaknesses. By recognizing and embracing our differences we not only become smarter—but happier too.

I don’t know if or how Richard and Larissa’s budding relationship evolved… but by the time my walk ended that day, I was convinced they were building it from the right foundation.

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