Blind to Blindness

Anne and I met Claire the first day we moved into our new apartment. Having lived in the building for nearly 20 years, she was a wealth of knowledge. Claire appeared to be in her mid-60s, so we were surprised when she told us she had just turned 78. She attributed her youthful appearance to her diet and the fact she walks her dogs several times a day—one dog at a time. When she found out we were animal lovers, she let us in on a little secret. “According to the building’s bylaws you’re only supposed to have up to two dogs… but I have three,” she whispered. Then she continued, “I know I’m breaking the rules, but my three guys don’t bother a soul and I take darn good care of them.” Claire was charming… and no doubt, her dogs were well cared for.

The next day I saw Claire walking one of her dogs. I smiled, waved and said good morning. To my surprise, she just stared at me. Her warm smile and friendly demeanor were missing. That evening, I shared my experience with Anne. “Maybe she was deep in thought?” That was possible but it didn’t seem likely. “Plus, she actually looked a bit angry,” I added. When Anne pointed out that I might be over analyzing the situation and that I can sometimes be a bit overly sensitive… I concluded she was probably right.

But her theory was quickly dispelled the following morning when Anne and I both saw Claire on one of her walks. We smiled, waved and said, “Good morning… it looks like it’s going to be beautiful today!” Claire not only didn’t respond… she actually looked irritated and turned away. We couldn’t believe it. “Did you say something yesterday that could have offended her?” Anne asked. I certainly couldn’t think of anything. A few days later a similar encounter took place… and then again a day after that. I was growing tired of going out of my way to be nice, only to be shunned.

Another week passed and I was talking to a neighbor when Claire walked by. Again, I smiled and said hello… and as I had come to expect, she walked past without even acknowledging my presence. When I asked my neighbor if she knew Claire, she responded, “YES… I think she has mental problems… and I’m not alone in this thinking. She’s really moody… we’ve just stopped trying to be nice to her.”

The following day my son, Mark, and his dog stopped by to visit. Not being used to the city, Marley was a bit anxious so I decided to take him for a walk to calm him down. When the elevator doors opened, we encountered two barking dogs in the lobby… and Marley made three. One of the dogs was Claire’s and she was struggling to control him. To avoid a dogfight, I quickly led Marley down the hall and out a side door. After a long walk, we returned to a peaceful dog-free lobby.

Back in our apartment, I was reminded that Marley didn’t have any dog food… so I went to get him some. On the way down, the elevator stopped and Claire entered. I smiled reluctantly and said, “Wow, that was quite a ruckus in the lobby.” She looked at me with a blank stare but said nothing. Then I added, “That was Marley… he’s just visiting for the day. He’s a good dog… just a bit anxious.”

Then she leaned forward and smiled, “Oh, was that you, Michael?” I thought about what my neighbor had said and wondered if she was having a psychotic break from reality. “Yes,” I answered, “and I’m sorry if we added to the chaos.” “No, not at all… I didn’t know that was you.” Then Claire proceeded to shift my reality, “I don’t know if I mentioned to you and your lovely wife, but I’m legally blind. Beyond a few feet, everything is blurry.” I was speechless… all my encounters with Claire flashed through my mind… I was always out of her range. I felt ashamed for having created a false perception of a wonderful person. It wasn’t Claire who was blind… it was me… and those around her.

I told Anne about Claire’s condition and informed my neighbor, too. It’s easy to jump to conclusions… people do it all the time. Whether it’s business, politics or friends, we subconsciously select the evidence that proves our beliefs while we reject or miss the parts that don’t. Perceptual blindness is a very real condition. Sometimes, our overwhelming evidence can actually blind us.

Comments